Vicki Polin, executive director of the Awareness Center, was part of an expert panel discussing the Child Victims’ Act of DE which has less than one year left on the civil “window” part of the legislation. This window provides a unique opportunity for survivors abused in Delaware to file a civil suit against their offender(s). The event was held on August 5, 2008 at the Jewish Community Center in Wilmington, DE.
I Was Abused
. . . and 25 Years Later I’m Still Trying to Make Things Right
This is an excerpt of a July 2003 interview with John Saleveson for Notre Dame Magazine
This is my story. There is nothing about it, or me, that is extraordinary or unusual. Multiply it by a couple of thousand, and you will begin to understand the devastating impact clergy sexual abuse has on its victims and the church.
The Abuse
I grew up on Long Island in New York, part of a standard-issue, middle-class, Catholic family. I attended Catholic school starting in the third grade (my mother couldn’t get the pastor to let me in earlier, as there were already more than 50 kids in the class). I was a kid any parent would be happy to have. I worked hard in school, stayed out of trouble and was involved in my church. I went through a long period as a child when I aspired to be a priest. I can still remember being fascinated by the book The Making of a Priest, which I would read at night under the covers of my bed with the aid of a flashlight, when I was supposed to be asleep.
The summer before I began attending my parish high school, Saint Dominic, in 1969, I met Father Robert Huneke, a new priest in our parish. He was young, smart, funny and sarcastic. He had us call him Father Bob and quickly became popular among my church and school friends.
Father Bob spent most of his time with young people. He was the sponsor of our Folk Mass group and was instrumental in getting us all to sign up for “Christian Awakening,” a weekend retreat program involving several Long Island parishes. He let us smoke cigarettes around him and criticized the other parish priests in front of us. He swore. He was like no other priest I had ever met.
My parents were thrilled to have Father Bob in the picture. He quickly became close to my family. I saw him in school, on weekends at Mass and on weekday evenings at Christian Awakening or Folk Mass practice. Sometimes he would come to our home for dinner.
In fall 1969, Father Bob invited me to go with him on a weekend trip to Virginia to visit a family that had moved out of our parish. I jumped at the chance. I was 13 years old and incredibly impressed with myself for being invited on such a trip.
Father Bob and I shared a bedroom at the home in Virginia. During the night, he got into my bed and began to perform oral sex on me. As I awoke, I became terrified and stunned. I was profoundly shocked, without any idea of how to react to his behavior.
The next morning, we left the home in Virginia and started the drive back to New York. Over breakfast, Father Bob told me that what “we” did was okay. He explained that it was okay to show love for each other, and that God accepted and encouraged it. I was nearly unable to speak. I remember feeling responsible for the abuse almost immediately. I also remember feeling nauseated. I had absolutely no idea what to do. It never occurred to me to tell another adult what happened. Continue reading…