Vicki Polin, executive director of the Awareness Center, was part of an expert panel discussing the Child Victims’ Act of DE which has less than one year left on the civil “window” part of the legislation. This window provides a unique opportunity for survivors abused in Delaware to file a civil suit against their offender(s). The event was held on August 5, 2008 at the Jewish Community Center in Wilmington, DE.
In my Inbox today…I am often frustrated by the fact that it seems as if we can talk about anything in our society ad nauseum but the true reality of child sex abuse. What is that reality? Over 90% of child sex abuse victims have been abused by someone close to them- a parent, a sibling, a relative, a neighbor, a teacher, a coach, a pastor, elder, priest, youth leaders, and among others. Child sex abuse happens more in homes by those the victim knows and trusts than anywhere else. Most of the sexual and physical abuse I suffered throughout my entire childhood was from people I was in often daily contact with - family members, neighbors, professional people and clergy.
The following is from an email I received today from a great organization (Darkness To Light) telling over and over the true reality of child sex abuse and working hard to train adults to help prevent the abuse. Recently they have started to release a series of public service announcements that are quite controversal, yet hit the mark on what most perpetrators look like and sound like- they are often our relatives, our neighbors, and others we trust our children to be with. They are disturbing because they are so real and true.
(Caution to survivors: these videos may be upsetting for you,so take care of yourself if you are in a vulnerable place.)
The new Darkness to Light public service announcements have caused quite a stir — and you can read about it and experience them in a blog that Jesse Kornbluth, a member of our advisory board, has just published on HuffingtonPost.com, the most influential blog in the world, according to The Guardian.
To read it and access links to the PSAs, click here. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jesse-kornbluth/coach-and-uncle-as-perver_b_118804.html
If you have seen the PSAs, which were developed by Darkness to Light’s media partner Young & Rubicam, you know that the campaign shows responsible-looking, middle-aged white men confessing that they’re not just coaches or uncles — they have a nasty secret, and it involves your kid. This is factually accurate: 90% of child sexual abuse incidents are most often perpetrated by someone known to the child and/or the child’s family.
Viewers are outraged, and they should be — not at the PSAs, but at the reality of child sexual abuse. In the blog, Anne Lee, President and CEO of Darkness to Light, urges the public to turn anger into action — to come to the D2L.org site and start to learn how to recognize, prevent and react responsibly to child sexual abuse.
If you want to do something about the epidemic of child sexual abuse, this is your chance. You can:
1. Forward this post to all of the responsible adults in you know..
2. Click the “Buzz Up” button on the HuffingtonPost article to move it to a “Big News” category, ensuring that many people see the article.
Since the spots began airing on CNN and Lifetime, visits to the Darkness to Light website have increased 200% in the past 2 weeks! That’s the power of media!
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Darkness to Light is a national nonprofit 501c3 organization and initiative located in Charleston, SC whose mission is to diminish the incidence and impact of child sexual abuse, so that more children will grow up healthy and whole and to raise awareness of the prevalence and consequences of child sexual abuse by educating adults about the steps they can take to prevent, recognize and react responsibly to the reality of child sexual abuse.
Another Darkness to Light Video:
I Was Abused
. . . and 25 Years Later I’m Still Trying to Make Things Right
This is an excerpt of a July 2003 interview with John Saleveson for Notre Dame Magazine
This is my story. There is nothing about it, or me, that is extraordinary or unusual. Multiply it by a couple of thousand, and you will begin to understand the devastating impact clergy sexual abuse has on its victims and the church.
The Abuse
I grew up on Long Island in New York, part of a standard-issue, middle-class, Catholic family. I attended Catholic school starting in the third grade (my mother couldn’t get the pastor to let me in earlier, as there were already more than 50 kids in the class). I was a kid any parent would be happy to have. I worked hard in school, stayed out of trouble and was involved in my church. I went through a long period as a child when I aspired to be a priest. I can still remember being fascinated by the book The Making of a Priest, which I would read at night under the covers of my bed with the aid of a flashlight, when I was supposed to be asleep.
The summer before I began attending my parish high school, Saint Dominic, in 1969, I met Father Robert Huneke, a new priest in our parish. He was young, smart, funny and sarcastic. He had us call him Father Bob and quickly became popular among my church and school friends.
Father Bob spent most of his time with young people. He was the sponsor of our Folk Mass group and was instrumental in getting us all to sign up for “Christian Awakening,” a weekend retreat program involving several Long Island parishes. He let us smoke cigarettes around him and criticized the other parish priests in front of us. He swore. He was like no other priest I had ever met.
My parents were thrilled to have Father Bob in the picture. He quickly became close to my family. I saw him in school, on weekends at Mass and on weekday evenings at Christian Awakening or Folk Mass practice. Sometimes he would come to our home for dinner.
In fall 1969, Father Bob invited me to go with him on a weekend trip to Virginia to visit a family that had moved out of our parish. I jumped at the chance. I was 13 years old and incredibly impressed with myself for being invited on such a trip.
Father Bob and I shared a bedroom at the home in Virginia. During the night, he got into my bed and began to perform oral sex on me. As I awoke, I became terrified and stunned. I was profoundly shocked, without any idea of how to react to his behavior.
The next morning, we left the home in Virginia and started the drive back to New York. Over breakfast, Father Bob told me that what “we” did was okay. He explained that it was okay to show love for each other, and that God accepted and encouraged it. I was nearly unable to speak. I remember feeling responsible for the abuse almost immediately. I also remember feeling nauseated. I had absolutely no idea what to do. It never occurred to me to tell another adult what happened. Continue reading…
As part of the FACSA network and its webmaster, I have longed for a place to discuss and have others post comments on the news articles on our web site, the people we highlight, the books we are reading, the visual media we are watching and ultimately the survivors we serve, as well as anything we want to say about protecting our children.
Our FACSA web site’s focus is mainly to inform and to educate people on how to take action to help protect all children today.
Our FACSA ~ Views’ focus is to connect with the hearts of our visitors regarding child sex abuse and protecting all our children from sexual predators.
Tell us what you think of our new venture…